Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 21 July 2010

image for Shakira Says She Would Love To Be The Next Woman That Sandra Bullock French Kisses
Shakira says she would love to have Sandra Bullock kiss her on the mouth.

LEXINGTON, Kentucky - Shakira performed before a standing room only crowd at Lexington's famed Colonel Stonewall Jackson Commemorative Coliseum and was asked some questions backstage.

The gyrating Colombian firecracker was asked if she has ever pulled a muscle while wiggling her hips at speeds of up to 94 miles per hour.

The petite blonde tossed back her blonde hair and replied that one time, down in Lima, Peru, she slipped on a Brazil nut, not the fruit nut, an actual nutty man from Brazil, and she fell to the ground.

She said that her only injuries were a bruised left hip, a bruised ear lobe, and a bruised ego.

Shakira says that she is like a cat and that when she falls she lands on her legs, pops up, and is ready to keep on wiggling what her mama gave her.

She was asked what she thinks about Lindsay Lohan going to jail. Shakira shook her head and said that just because she is a spoiled, little rich girl does not mean that she is above the law.

The blonde firecracker said that in her home country of Colombia a spoiled brat like Lindsay would have been incarcerated and probably 'poked' about 200 or 300 times.

She was asked about the BP Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill. She shook her head, hit her hand with one clenched fist and said that she has seen the tar ball mess first hand and that it is uglier than the inside of Amy Winehouse's mouth.

Shakira was then asked what she thought about this years Academy Award winner for best actress, Sandra Bullock.

The tiny blonde dancer blushed. She then said, "You know, I am not a lesbianica but I would like to be the next woman that Sandra Bullock kisses on the mouth."

In a related story. Sandra Bullock was told about Shakira's remark and she is reportedly making plans to work out some kind of logistical time frame where her and Shakira can share a highly intimate and extremely erotic kiss.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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