Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 19 July 2010

image for Robert Pattinson and Reese Witherspoon Share A Cozy Secret Midnight Stroll
Reese gave Robert a pet Yorkie named Tar Balls.

SANTA BARBARA, California - Robert Pattinson and Reese Witherspoon, who are co-starring in the film Water For Elephants, were reportedly spotted taking a cozy, secret walk in the underwear along Santa Barbara Beach.

Pattinson, who is 24, is ten years younger than the 34-year-old Witherspoon. When asked about the age difference Robert said that it did not matter one bit to him since Reesy has the body of a 29-year-old.

He was asked if it was true that she has a tattoo of her home state of Louisiana on her left butt cheek. Robert blushed and said that she does have a tattoo of Louisiana, but that actually it is on her right butt check, if one is facing her from behind.

Pattinson said that Reese also has a tattoo of a Louisiana tar ball, which she only got last Saturday. He was asked where that tattoo is located but he refused to say.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I spoke to Witherspoon's hair stylist FuFi Fondue and he told me that the Louisiana tar ball tattoo is located on her bikini line and for some strange reason the tar ball is upside down, if one is looking at it directly, but if Reese is looking down at it, then the tar ball is actually right side up.]

When Pattinson was asked if he feels that their relationship will develop into something permanent, Rob shook his head and replied, "Probably not seeing as how she is ten years older than me and ya know, it might not seem like a lot, but think about it when she's 50, I'll only be 30, so I have to take that into consideration.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Pattinson can't count very well, but at least he has a good accountant who can make sure that he get the millions and millions that he is supposed to receive for The Twilight Saga movies.]

Water For Elephants will have it's premier in International Falls, Minnesota on Circus Elephants Day on September 17, 2010.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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