Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 14 July 2010

image for Justin Bieber To Star In Two and A Half Men As Charlie Sheen's Long Lost Son Tabasco Harper
Charlie Sheen as he appeared in the film, "The X-Rated Silence of Marcel Marceau"

HOLLYWOOD - The producers of the number one rated American television sit-com Two and A Half Men are thrilled to announce that they have signed Canadian teen idol Justin Bieber to join the cast of the top rated comedy.

Justin will be portraying Tyler "Tabasco" Harper, whose mother divorced Charles Francis "Charlie" Harper, when she was seven months pregnant and moved to Coventry, England, where Tyler was born in The Whispering Sisters of The Red Coat Hospital.

After hearing a jingle for Jack-in-The-Box which her ex-husband and Tabasco's father wrote she decides to get in touch with Charlie aka, "The Left Coast's #1 Womanizer."

The ex-Mrs. Charlie Harper, who is played by Scarlett Johansson, is an extremely sexy top rated tennis player who travels throughout the entire world.

She decides to ask Charlie if Tabasco can move in with him so that she can pursue her goal of one day being better than the Williams sistas (sisters). Charlie, readily agrees.

Tab, as his mom now calls him, after he asked her two months ago to stop calling him Tabby, is the same exact age as Charlie's nephew Jake, who is Charlie's brother Alan's son.

Alan Harper is played by Jon Cryer, who gained fame starring as "Duckie" in the motion picture Pretty In Pink.

Cryer later starred in the sequel, Still Pretty In Pink, and then six months later in the second sequel Okay, Now, This Pretty In Pink Business Has Gotten A Might Out of Hand.

Justin Bieber as Tabasco will move into Jake's room where he will occupy the top bunk bed and Jake will sleep in the bottom bunk.

The shows producers have already written the first episode of the new season. The show is titled, "Pass The Tabasco Please."

In it Tab is introduced to the Two and Half Men audience and right away Berta the maid, played by Conchata Farrel, says that is sure will be nice to have a male around the place whose feet don't smell, who doesn't seem to vomit every other day, and who can put a three word sentence together without one of the words being friggin, freakin, or effen.

SIDENOTE: Justin says that as Tabasco Harper he will help his TV dad write some commercial jingles. The first one will be heard on the first show of the new season and is entitled, "I Love Yogurt Cause It Turns My Dicky Poo Into A Dip Stick Real Quick."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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