Written by Stevey G.
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Thursday, 8 July 2010

image for Stephen Hawking set to star in 'Emmerdale'
'Soaps' use wheelchairs to improve ratings.

'Emmerdale' has received criticism recently over the lack of a wheelchair-bound character in their cast.

Both 'Eastenders' and 'Coronation Sreet' appear to be complying with politically-correct guidelines, with characters Adam Best and Izzy Armstrong (played by David Proud and Cherylee Houston), making regular appearances in the soaps in their respective wheelchairs.

TV 'watch-dogs' are outraged.'We are outraged' they state, 'Emmerdale used to have Chris Tate, who was crippled in the tragic plane-crash on the village in 1993 and became wheelchair-bound. Since his departure they think that they can get away with a token blind character in the form of Lizzy Lakely (played by Kitty McGeever). It's just not good enough!'

'Emmerdale' has responded by announcing the arrival of wheelchair bound Stephen Hawking into the cast.

Playing himself, the world renowned quantum physicist and general genius, will come to the village to help Andy Sugden improve his milk yield, whilst secretly working on his top-secret time machine.

Travelling back in time to December 1993, Hawking is able to avert the plane crash, save the village and thus save Chris Tate from his crippling injuries.

An 'Emmerdale' spokesman said earlier 'It's genius, not only is it compelling TV, it ticks all the boxes on the politically-correct front. A wheelchair bound hero, travels back in time to prevent someone ending up in a wheelchair. It's unmissable!'

'Mmmmmm...if you say so.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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