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Saturday, 3 July 2010

image for Paris Hilton Weed Charges Dropped By SA Court
Paris Hilton Shows Our Man Where She Didn't Stash The Drugs

Heiress and internet video starlet, Paris Hilton was yesterday released by a South African special World Cup court after being arrested following the Holland v Brazil quarter final tie in Port Elizabeth.

Hilton had been accused of possessing marijuana with intent to smoke, but the whole case against her collapsed when it transpired that it wasn't Paris Hilton who was carrying the drug, but a member of her entourage.

Miss Hilton thanked the court upon her dismissal, after explaining that the whole thing was just, like, some, ah, major misunderstanding. Yeah?

A court official explained that Ms Hilton had been released because she was not carrying any drugs on her person at the time of her arrest. And maybe because she's rich, American, blonde, and enjoys something of a reputation as a sexual bon vivant.

Sources tell us that a court security guard who has a webcam offered Ms Hilton $500 US if she'd go home with him to make a movie or six. She reportedly turned down the offer politely.

SA police captain Sparkly DeBeer told us:

"These people have to get up pretty early in the morning to get one over on us South African supercops. I mean, it's hardly rocket science - a South American team playing the Dutch? Somebody or other was bound to have drugs on them."

A man standing outside the court room selling vuvuzelas from a suitcase in England colours at knockdown prices told us:

"The blonde jiggy-jiggy lady was supporting Brazil, I hear. It must have been a pretty stressful day for her. She probably just wants to go back to her hotel room, smoke a little weed, drink a little wine, and chillax, man."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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