TheSpoof! -- In a development rarely seen on the pages of TheSpoof!, a well respected and beloved writer completely bombs his first attempt at a simple vagina story, and hasn't been heard from since.
"My God," Spoof! fellow writer, funwithwords [fww], exclaimed prior to indicating a need for "some 'shrooms."
"What the...? I'm still recuperating from plowing my way through that one," she said rubbing her temples. "I have never in my life read a vagina story quite as God awful as that one, that's for sure. My eyeballs hurt."
This latest scandal, which threatens to bring ill repute to a site known for its otherwise stellar celebrity genital reporting, centers around the immensely talented, yet cerebral writer, Erskin Quint's [EQ's] work of perceived art: Tush! Miley Cyrus' Vagina Rubbed Up Wrong Way By Brass Rubbing Group!
"Well if we had known he was going to screw it up that badly, we'd have reassigned him more appropriately to, perhaps, the mathematics beat," one anonymous source explained. "He's a good guy and all -- no doubt about that," the source reaffirmed, "but that was an utter disaster. God knows how many readers we've lost as a result."
As for funwithwords, she explained that she tried to get through the article a second time, but weirdly enough, got distracted by all of the indiscriminate bolded portions.
"It appears that EQ was attempting to draw a picture on the page of the story," fww explained of the debacle, "literally. I even thought I had made out the Virgin Mary at one point about halfway down in it," she elaborated, "or the Virgin Mary's vagina, I'm not sure which."
Others have yet to step forward, perhaps, for fear of reprisal. Yet, fww has bravely chosen to step forth and blow the whistle on this travesty.
"I care dearly for TheSpoof!," fww was quoted as saying. "Perhaps EQ had spent a hour longer in the pub than intended," she speculated. "Whatever the case, I think it's best if both of us voluntarily relinquish the reigns of the vagina beat to TheSpoof! Senior Celebrity Entertainment Reporter, Buck E. Filbert. Really, it's just the right thing to do."