Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 12 June 2010

image for Heidi Montag Has A Butt Lift and Heads For The World Cup Games In South Africa
Heidi's pet dog, which reportedly was given to her by Mr. Sandra Bullock, (Jesse James).

WEST HOLLYWOOD - One of the world's most plasticized women, Heidi Montag, who has had 38 cosmetic procedures done including lifts, tucks, nips, snips, lipos, augmentations, and enhancements will be attending the Algeria vs. Slovenia soccer match on June 13.

The match will take place in Polokwane's Laughing Hyena Stadium, which when built, was constructed to withstand a 7.9 earthquake, a category five hurricane, and a 70 foot tall tsunami.

Heidi who is seeking a divorce from her husband Spencer Pratt, on the grounds that he hardly ever tells her that she looks gorgeously sexy, said that she just reached the point where she just had to get away from the ever present aura of Hollywood, where everything is either gold, silver, or plastic.

She decided to attend the World Cup Soccer Games after undergoing her latest butt lift.

Montag revealed to a maid at The Gabon Viper Hotel that at times she does not feel like Heidi Montag the good looking sultry siren and that she feels more like Cloris Leachman, Joan Rivers, or Betty White, each who is over 88 years in age.

Heidi was asked about the rumor that she has been texting one of the players on the Slovenian team. She turned three shades of pink and said that the rumor is true. When asked who the player is, Montag refused to say.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I phoned by good buddy, Larry King and he told me that Heidi Montag has been texting Slovenian player Dalibor Stevanovic number 21.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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