Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 6 June 2010

image for Britain's Got Talent: Spelbound Lives Up To Its Name and Captures The Title
Pole dancer Alesia Vasmitsel's bikini bottom is not much bigger than a regular playing card.

LONDON - The 13-man gymnastic dance troupe Spelbound has been crowned winners of the 2010 Britain's Got Talent competition.

Judge Simon Cowell said that he had never seen so much sweat in his entire life. Amanda Holden said that while they were performing their routine it was kind of like being in the front three rows at a Shamu performance at Sea World with water-like sweat shooting out all over the place.

Piers Morgan said that he had to go backstage and ring out his £38 [$55 U.S.] Sir Lancelot designer shirt.

The shows director Radford St. Guyler, had a backstage incident which he had to quickly diffuse. It seems that members of The Greater London Fire Department had informed him that they would not allow Tia Brodie, aka "The Topless Fire Eater" to perform her act.

A representative for the fire department stated that there was just too much of a chance that Ms. Brodie would accidentally burn the entire theater down to the ground.

Brodie reportedly told one of the firemen that it was impossible as her fire was really not all that hot.

Ms. Brodie said that she would go ahead and perform and that no fire chief was going to stop her.

Will it seems that Fire Chief Grover Toddfellow was the European karate champion from 2003 to 2008. He raised his leg, much like a male dog would do, and before Tia Brodie knew it, Toddfellow had kicked her behind her left ear, knocking her down to the floor.

Three firemen then picked her up and took her out to the fire truck.

Another behind the scenes incident involved Alesia Vasmitsel, the 30-year-old blonde pole dancer from Surrey.

It seemed that Mrs. Vasmitsel wanted to perform her act wearing a bikini bottom that was not much bigger than a playing card.

St. Guyler said that little kids and older grandfolks would be watching and he did not want for them to see pubic hair protruding from the sides of her bikini bottom.

Vasmitsel told St. Guyler that he was being very over dramatic and acting like Dannii Minogue acts on X-Factor.

St. Guyler said that he was not going to fool with her and told her that he was disqualifying her from any further competition. She objected and began jumping up and down catching a stagehand on his right cheek with her right tit.

The producer, who by now had reached his wits end called Fire Chief Toddfellow over and told him that he would pay him £200 [$289 U.S.] to karate chop Mrs. Vasmitsel exactly like he had done to Ms. Brodie.

Vasmitsel said that it would not be necessary and she sauntered out the back door like Amy Winehouse looking for a cigarette.

In a related story. The 13 member gymnastic dance troupe will be meeting Queen Elizabeth II for a spot of tea on Sunday, June 13, in the Ringo Starr Commemorative Tea Room at Buckingham Palace.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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