Written by anthonyrosania
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Topics: Gary Coleman

Wednesday, 2 June 2010

image for Gary Coleman Police Report -- 'Little to be Suspicious About'

The police officer who responded to Gary Coleman's home on the day he was hospitalized claims he observed "little to be suspicious about" about the scene at the actor's diminutive home, according to the police report.

In the report, Officer Mike Rosized from the East Bumblefu-k, Utah PD writes that when he first arrived to the home, Gary's wife, Shannon Price, met him at the front door. She pointed the cop toward the murder scene - er, I mean, where Gary had fallen - but wouldn't go with him to where her bloodied, injured husband was dying because she didn't want to see icky blood on the floor.

According to the report, Shannon,24, told officers that the two had been in bed, when she asked 42 year old Gary, who stands 4'2" and suffered from a congenital kidney disease caused by focal segmental glomerulosclerosis, to go downstairs and fix her lazy ass some food.

Shannon claimed Gary fell shortly after leaving the room.

Eventually, the officer claims Gary was able to walk -- with assistance -- to a waiting ambulance which transported him to a nearby hospital.

Gary died two days later.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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