Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: TV, Gary Coleman

Saturday, 29 May 2010

image for Diff'rent Strokes Reruns Are Now On Cable 24/7
The Five Tops who sang the theme song to Diff'rent Strokes, "Diff'rent Strokes For Diff'rent Ho's"

LOS ANGELES - The Shortcake Production Company which owns the rights to the television sit-com Diff'rent Strokes starring Gary Coleman has just announced to the entertainment media that the old comedy show is being shown throughout the world 24/7.

Shortcake spokesperson BooBoo Downfricker said that she has heard that the show was extremely popular in the African country of Lower Zamgola where it regularly had much high viewer numbers than two of Lower Zamgola's all-time favorite reality shows, Cooking Lion, Zebra, and Anaconda With Mrs. Tatunga Moombaca and Leave It To The Friggin Beavers.

When asked how much the Shortcake Production Company paid the actors of Diff'rent Strokes in residuals Mrs. Downfricker evaded the question.

She replied that the show is the #1 rated television show in Peru, and is ranked even ahead of the very popular variety show, Some Inca Don't, But Some Inca Do.

She was again asked the residual question and this time she evaded the question by saying that Coleman was in fact the shortest member of the cast.

When asked the question a third time, Downfricker answered that Gary was 4 foot 8 inches tall.

Finally one of the reporters stood on top of his chair and hollered out, "Okay, listen up Mrs. Downfricker. I am going to ask you the mofoing question just one more time. And this time you had better effen answer my mother frickin' question.

"How much residuals does the cast of Diff'rent Strokes receive?"

Downfricker replied. "The cast does not receive any money since the entire group signed away their residual rights ten years ago in leau of a six-day cruise to the Northern California coastal town of Mendocino.

In other news. Taco Bell, Jack-in-The-Box, Casa Hasta Later Enchiladas, KFC, and Sanchita's Sweet & Sour Tamales have each announced that they will be closing down every one of their Arizona franchise outlets within the coming months.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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