Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 12 May 2010

image for The 2010 Girls Aloud Nude Calendar Has Just Become Great Britain's Biggest Selling Calendar of All Time
Sarah Harding featured on the cover of The 2010 Girls Aloud Nude Calendar.

LONDON - The Bloomin' British Babes Calendar Company which is based in Bristol has just reported that its 2010 Girls Aloud Nude Calendar has just surpassed sales of the previous number one calendar which was Cheryl Cole's 2010 nude calendar named Cheryl Cole's 12 Titillating Views.

A spokesperson for the calendar company Byron Thameswater said that the sales of the Girls Aloud calendar had surpassed the sales of Cheryl Cole's calendar as of noon (Tokyo time) May 12, 2010.

Thameswater went on to say that Cheryl Cole holds the honor of being a part of Great Britain's number one and number two all-time selling nude calendars.

The Girls Aloud calendar features each of the five band members showcased in two months, and February and December feature a photo of all five girls.

Cheryl Cole graces the months of January and November. Her January photo has her sitting totally al-fresco on a snow sled next to a six foot tall snowman, which interestingly enough resembles Simon Cowell.

Her November picture finds Cheryl balancing herself on a rugby ball while holding an English muffin in front of her...ah English muffin.

Sarah Harding, the Ascot Berkshire natives nakedness is showcased in the month of May, where she is shown standing on her hands on the drawbridge of Windsor Castle. Her August photo shows Harding exiting one of London's double decker buses in her birthday suit while holding a Rolling Stones album.

Nadine Coyle, the Irish lassie, is shown kissing the Blarney Stone in the month of March. In her September photo she is shown out in the beautiful Irish countryside taking a bath in an Irish creek while using a bar of Irish Spring Soap.

Kimberly Walsh, the 28-year-old from Bradford West Yorkshire, is featured in the month of April, where she is shown holding two Easter eggs in front of her nipples and an Easter bonnet just to the left of her groin goody.

Walsh is shown in the month of June sunbathing on one of the beaches of Portsmouth and eating a bowl of Yorkshire pudding while reading a copy of David Frost's autobiography titled, "Hey Mates, Me Onions Seem To Be A Bit Frosted Dey Is."

In the July photo Nicola Roberts is pictured standing beside a horse on a Coventry fox hunt. Two foxes (real) are shown beside her looking up at her beautiful little British biscuit.

The October picture shows Nicola standing in front of Buckingham Palace wearing nothing but a Buckingham guards helmet.

The calendar's photographer Chauncey Houndstooth said that it took him about an hour to shoot the photo because a crowd that had gathered kept yelling out for the somewhat embarrassed Nicola to take her hands away from her pleasant garden.

The five girls were featured in the February photo. Houndstooth had all of the girls standing in front of the Tower Big Ben while pretending to look at imaginary watches on their wrists.

In the December picture he had the girls all wearing elf hats, squatting down, and pee writing holiday words in the freshly fallen snow.

To see some amazing photographs of a naked Camilla Bowles while she was attending St. Crumpets College in Chingford log on to www.camillasprivateprivates.tea

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 5?

4 15 2 14

Go to top ^