HOFN, Iceland - In a classic example of a 'bad news - good news' story, Iceland has just been hit with a powerful 9.7 magnitude earthquake.
The quake only lasted 55 seconds, but it was enough to cause the volcano Eyjafjallajokull, that has been spewing forth lava and volcanic ash all over the top of the world, to now find itself newly situated just east of the Nuuk, Greenland, city limits.
Iceland's Prime Minister Johanna Sigurdardottir, an openly open lesbian, reportedly stated that she was thrilled beyond belief about the earthquake.
An inside source actually remarked that she saw the prime minister do 14 somersaults in a row in the backyard of her mansion, Snowflakes Estates.
The Icelandic prime minister said that she is so glad about the earthquake and expressed her gaiety by adding that she was as happy as an old lesbian in a WBA (Women's Basketball Association) locker room.
Meanwhile the government of Greenland has asked the United Nations for assistance in this very crucial matter. A spokesperson for the U.N. identified as Missy Missachefinski, replied, "Ah, and just exactly what the friggin hell does Greenland want us to do about the damn volcano now being on their soil."
Miss Missachefinski, who on weekends performs at a local comedy store in Brooklyn, added, "I hardly think that saying 'bad volcano - bad volcano, go on back to Iceland' is going to work worth a freakin' damn."
The 9.7 magnitude earthquake did very little damage to Icelandic structures, which are pretty much about 97 percent ice. The earthquake did not cause any fatalities or injuries, except for Inga Ingafelli, 52, who said that after the earthquake she did notice that her labia minora is now actually her labia majora, and her labia majora is now sitting on her bikini line.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: I happened to see an actual photograph of Miss Ingafelli's labia majora in its new location, and let me say that it is not a pretty sight. I was going to mention the Internet site where one could go to view it, but I am not going to because I do not want to be responsible for traumatizing anyone. Trust me, the photo makes Amy Winehouse look like a Playboy centerfold.]