Written by Charpa93
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Monday, 26 April 2010

image for Mini-Me, Vern Troyer Offers to Wed Kate Gosselin

The news that Kate Gosselin is shopping for a husband is generating a lot of buzz about Hollywood and several B-list actors are coming forward to help her in her quest. "I've even gotten a few proposals from women to become my life partner," says Kate. "I had no idea how many lonely people were out there besides myself."

The latest offer comes from none other than Vern Troyer, most notably known as Mini-Me in the Austin Powers movies. "Sure, there's a bit of a height difference," claims Troyer, "but hell, there's nothing I can do about that. I am still a man, she's a woman, a lonely, lonely woman."

He added, "I come from a small family, so having a large family that I can enjoy with a tall blonde woman, regardless of her 'tude, I think would be a fun ride. Besides, I've been dealing with unruly wrestlers most of my professional life, so I don't think Kate can dish out anything that I can't handle, even at my size. Bring it beotch," he said affectionately.

When asked about the proposal, Kate, in her usual blunt way, had this to say, "oh yeah, sure, the kids would just love that, another little person running around the house. What happens when they grow and Vern doesn't? They've already learned how to side-step authority due to their regular-sized father's lack of parenting skills. Thanks, but no thanks, Vern, I have enough little ones running around as it is."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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