Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 23 April 2010

image for Sandra Bullock Makes A Strong Statement About Effen Tattoos
Sandra Bullock (pictured above) says that she is still not quite comfortable being seen in public.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Sandra Bullock has remarked that she will never ever again date a man who has even one freakin' tattoo.

The winner of this years Academy Award for Best Actress stated that she has learned her lesson and learned it well. She stated that her mom had warned her about dating a man with tattoos.

Bullock said that she can still hear her mother's words ringing in her ears, "Sandy, doncha go and date ya one of dem tattooed dudes. Lissen ta me sugar dem tattooed fellers dey ain't got da sense dat da good Lord gave a guitar pick."

Sandra said that her mom loved writing and that over the years she wrote about 12,000 one-liners, 800 knock knock jokes, 700 Ethiopian jokes, and over 75,000 Sarah "Snowflake" Palin jokes.

Bullock said that her Mom's favorite Sarah Palin joke is, if Sarah Palin can see Russia from her front porch then why can't the silly ass bitch see her unsightly cellulite on both of her knees?

In a developing story. Keira Knightley's boobs are still as small as they have ever been so the closig tag line should really be called a non-developing story.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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