BEVERLY HILLS - Jon Gosselin of the cancelled reality show Jon and Kate Plus 8, has revealed that he has decided to go in to have his little bitty 3-inch pecker enhanced.
Jon said that he really and truly felt betrayed when his ex-girlfriend, Hailey Glassman, told the supermarket tabloids about his unusually small taco tickler.
Gosselin added that when his wife jumped on "The Little Jon" bandwagon, he really felt like he was nothing more than just a girl with one hell of a big clitoris.
He said that at first he decided that he would return to Korea, where a man with a 3-inch diddly dipper is considered the norm.
He laughed and said that he certainly would never go to Africa where he would definitely be known as LaJonisha and have to clean the hut, wash the dirty loin cloths, and try to give birth to babies.
Gosselin's physician, Dr. Max Boxfluff, informed Barbara Walters that once the penis enlargement is complete, Jon will probably be able to diddle women like Pamela Anderson, Jennifer Aniston, and maybe even that has-been singing bitch Madonna.
In other news. Lou Ferrigno has just signed to star in 'Incredible Hulk 2010 - Now That's A Stimulus Package!'