Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Susan Boyle

Thursday, 22 April 2010

image for Susan Boyle Working on Her Autobiography Called, "Me Voice It Comes From Me Bloomin' Boobies It Does"
Some of the flowers in Susan Boyle's garden which were grown by her gardener Enrico Enriquez.

BLACKBURN, Scotland - The Scottish lass or lassie depending on which part of Ireland you're from has stated that she is currently working on her autobiography entitled Me Voice It Comes From Me Bloomin' Boobies.

SuBo, as most people from Wales, Greenland, and Venezuela call her said that she had no idea how utterly fantastic a singing voice she had.

Boyle, (which is pronounced: BOIL) said she first realized how amazingly amazing her voice was when she was told by her gardener Enrico Enriquez, who is originally form Cuernavaca, Mexico but is in the United Kingdom on an exchange gardener permit.

SuBo said that Rico, as she calls him, told her in somewhat broken English, "Hey Soo Son, ju hab one of dee mostest pretty boyses I hab eber heard. Eat ease eben more prettier dan dat tall skinny beach Anna Coulter's boyse."

Susan informed Rico that Ann Coulter does not sing. He replied "Well jes, not anymore seens dey heet her in da boca (mouth) width dat coconut pie width dee coconuts steel inside ob eat."

Boyle has told neighbors that she absolutely loves Rico and not just because he can plant Velcro and have pansies come up, but because he is always giving her compliments such as telling her "Soo Son gurl ju got sum fine lewking maracas on ju bonita mama (pretty mama).

Rico has also told Boyle that if he was not already married with a mistress and two girlfriends that he would be on top of her Scottish arse like stink on a marana (female pig).

Susan says that the thing that she especially likes about Rico is that he does not wear underwear and he never remembers to zip up his zipper.

To see some never-before published photographs of Susan Boyle's 'maracas' please feel free to log on to www.susanboylesmaracas.old

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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