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Tuesday, 20 April 2010

image for Katie Price To Have Her Breasts Tattooed With Pattinson - Stewart Faces?
Are You Looking At My Tatts?

Unconfirmed reports here this morning appear to suggest that in an effort to rejuvenate her sensuality, Katie Price is to have tattoos of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart done on her tits.

My man on the inside, eccentric British film director, Buffty Ginslinger related to me that Katie Price was sick and tired of the Twilight twosome stealing all the top headlines, so she figured it was time to take affirmative action.

Ginslinger - who appeared a little unsteady on his feet after working all night on his latest movie* - told me that he wasn't sure if Price had said that she would have Pattinson and Stewart inked for posterity on both knockers, or both of them on one knocker, with an eclipsed moon on the other.

He explained that Katie Price was getting really pissed off that the Twilighters were stealing her headline thunder in tabloid rags like The Daily Shame, The Daily Liar and Who's Currently Porking Who, so she'd decided to go for an all out publicity campaign.

He added that she would show off her new norks to the world as soon as the tatt scabs healed. He also denied rumours that Price has a tattoo on her inner thigh depicting a bedraggled and bearded tramp "escaping" from her vagina.

* A biopic of ex-professional wrestler Mick McManus starring Alex Reid in the title role and Peter Andre as Jackie 'Mister TV' Pallo.

More as Buffty lets it slip.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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