Written by Skoob1999
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Wednesday, 14 April 2010

image for Robert Pattinson Cheating On Kristen Stewart Already With Leighton Meester?
Sting Out Of The Police Walking On The Moon Back In The 80s

While other News Agencies struggle to keep pace with the latest developments in the ongoing Robert Pattinson/Kristen Stewart saga, here at Skoob News we'll give you all the inside dope as we get it.

That is 'dope' as in information, not 'dope' as in drugs - we leave that to the loser news reporters who quite often give the impression that they've been a little overenthusiastic in the use of 'dope' in the latter category.

Latest reports coming in suggest that Robert Pattinson got engaged to Kristen Stewart in Budapest, where Pattinson is shooting Bel Ami - not true. Kristen never left LA. Then a report surfaced stating quite categorically that the couple were engaged before R-Patz departed for Budapest. That report was just BS too.

Latest reports allege that Robert Pattinson was seen emerging from the New York City apartment of Gossip Girl star Leighton Meester in the wee small hours. He is said to have jumped into the back of a waiting car, which then sped away from the scene.

Our guys are out there right now, pounding the streets trying to delve deeper into this latest twist in the Twilight saga, and the general concensus appears to be that Robert Pattinson probably is bonking somebody other than Kristen Stewart. This belief stems from the basic reality that a Pattinson/Stewart 'romance' means good business for the Twilight franchise by keeping teenage hormones buzzing at dangerous levels. Thus maintaining fascination with the whole Twilight phenomena.

The reality is probably that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart really are 'just good friends' who work together and are in the business of making lots of filthy lucre together. K-Stew probably has the hots for somebody totally unconnected with Twilight, and R-Patz is most probably draining his sack elsewhere too. Like with Leighton Meester.

The long range forecast based on an exhaustive drinking session seems to point towards Pattinson and Stewart's names no longer being linked in the media once the Twilight project has run its course.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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