Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 10 April 2010

image for Coleen Rooney Judges The 2010 Worst Dressed Contest at Aintree
Coleen Rooney wearing a red dress that covered up her love handles very well.

LIVERPOOL - One of England's most famous WAGs Coleen Rooney, wife of Manchester United's Wayne Rooney served as the judge for the Annual Aintree Worst Dressed Contest.

Mrs. Rooney said that this year it was an extremely difficult job of judging due to the fact that there were so many gobsmackingly horrendous dressed women.

One woman, Olivia Brokenshire, 37, who said she drove up from Pimlico on a motorcycle said that she had spent over £900 [$1,383 U.S.] on her miniskirt which consisted of nothing but 116 geometric prints in the likeness of Queen Elizabeth II.

Another woman, Chloe Billibong, 29, from Birmingham wore an un co-ordinated, low-cut blouse with dozens of frills, ruffles, and peacock feathers. She was asked to remove the peacock feathers when two wayward cats jumped on her chest and proceeded to scratch through to her tigbitties (yaboos).

Rooney said that one of the most eye-catching outfits was a swimsuit that was worn by Sophie Tipplecrown, 41. The Liverpool native wore a very tight asymmetric, non matching bikini swimsuit with several pictures of sharks with tuna fish in their mouths.

Coleen said that what made the swimsuit special was that it was made of a see through fabric and it was hilarious to see the front of the bottom of the swimsuit with one of the sharks wearing a goatee.

Rooney crowed Miss Tipplecrown as the eventual winner of The 2010 Annual Aintree Worst Dressed Contest. Besides receiving the first place prize of £35,000 [$53,800 U.S.] Tipplecrown will attend an elaborate four-course dinner in Buckingham Palace with Prince Charles and his mom the Queen.

The Liverpudlian will also be presented with season's tickets to all Manchester United football games, and she will get to go backstage and chat with Amy Winehouse when she performs in London.

In other news. David Frost has stated that he wants to interview Erykah Badu. But due to the fact that she is banned from ever entering The United Kingdom, he will probably have to fly to Detroit to interview her there which Frost says absolutely scares the blitherin' hell out of him.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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