Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 1 April 2010

image for Sarah Harding of Girls Aloud - A Very Intimate Secret Revealed
Sarah Hardings uncle and aunt, Nigel and Dandelion Wannabirkin of Little Sandhurst, England.

LITTLE SANDY, England - Girls Aloud member Sarah Harding was in Little Sandhurst visiting an aunt, Dandelion Wannabirkin, who only yesterday gave birth to septuplets.

The seven babies are doing fine and are presently identified as: me first, me second, me third, me fourth, me fifth, me sixth, and me seventh.

Dandelion giggles and says that the septuplets father is known as me 'usband and he had to be placed in the bed next to hers after fainting when the fourth of seven babies popped out.

Nigel Wannabirkin, who delivers crumpets for a living, had no idea that his wife was having multiple births. Mrs. Wannabirkin said, "Ya see Nig, dat der be da reason why I needya ta pays attenshun when I be speakin ta ya. We done went and did us the rumpy pumpy yeah we did and now we gots us seven little bitty Wannabirkins we does cor blimey and crikey moses."

As Harding was leaving the hospital she was asked about a possible Girls Aloud summer concert tour. She smiled and said that it will all depend on how Cheryl Cole's divorce from Ashley the arse goes.

Sarah was asked about her upcoming solo album titled Hiya Tis Me - Girl Aloud Sarah.

Harding stated that the record company will be releasing two of the cuts as singles. The first one will be "Are Me Nips Showin?" and the second one will be, "Yes You Can Abso-Bloody-Lutely Kiss Me Wonky Wonk You May."

Sarah was asked about the rumors going around Ascot Berkshire that she has a tattoo of Buckingham Palace on her bikini line. Sarah blushed and replied that it was true. She laughed and added that it was a present from one of her fellow bandmates.

Sarah was asked which of the Girls Aloud bandmate had given her the bikini line tattoo as a gift. She replied that it was no ones business.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I made a call to Sir David Frost and asked him. He informed me that the band member who paid for her intimate bikini line tattoo of Buckingham Palace was Cheryl Cole.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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