Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 30 March 2010

image for Dancing With The Stars: Kate Gosselin Pisses Off Tony Dovolani Big Time!
Kate Gosselin with one of her two left feet showing.

HOLLYWOOD - Tony Dovolani is a world champion dance instructor who has captured dozens of world-wide awards.

Tony Dovolani is a class act who can take a woman with two left feet, no rhythm, no soul, some cellulite, and no coordination and mold her into a somewhat decent dancer, or rather into a woman who can dance. Really?

Well as the late great Johnny Carson used to say "Wrong again ballroom breath." Yes, not even "The Great Dovolani" can work miracles.

Kate "King Kate" Gosselin is a horrible dancer. She is even worse than last year's Macy "Beep Beep" Gray who had trouble walking in a straight line much less trying to perform a dance routine that doesn't resemble a free for all World Wrestling Federation Cage Match.

Gosselin is so pathetically pitiful that it is actually sad to watch her. And "Graceless" Gosselin cannot hide her anger, frustration, and knowledge in the fact that she knows that as a dancer she is not worth baby duck shit.

And the ex-reality show "Mother" has got one hell of a temper, an attitude, and a personality that makes the bitch of all bitches Ann Coulter look like Marie Osmond.

Yes, Kate Gosselin has about as much business participating in a dance contest as Tiger Woods, John Edwards, or Jesse James have in participating in a Husband of The Year Contest.

Kate actually had the nerve to jump all over Tony's method of instructing her on the art of dance. She was so sarcastic in her remarks to Tony that he actually quit during one of the rehearsals.

I guess that "Kate the Not So Great" forgot that she was not talking to her ex-husband Jon "3-Inches" Gosselin. Kate is just damn lucky that she has one of the nicest male dance partners on Dancing With The Stars.

Because if her partner had been Maxim Chmerkovskiy, (last name pronounced Bas-TARD) the 'Russian Bad Boy of the Ballroom,' would have already used up about two rolls of duct tape, taping up Kate the spoiled brat's egomaniacal, know-it-all mouth, as well as her thunder thighs, and her sagging-from-too-much-sextuplet-sucking tits.

In a related story. Kate's ex-husband Jon has said that not only does his ex-wife have two left feet she also has two left butterbags which when you look at them up close you can clearly see that one is a C-Cup and the other one is a B-Cup.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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