Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 29 March 2010

image for Nigella Lawson Gives Her Breasts A Rest - The Delicious Miss Dahl Steps In
At The Auditions - "No Tits - NEXT!"

Whilst nobody could sensibly argue that the BBC got it wrong in combining sex appeal and cooking, it could be argued that the BBC are struggling to maintain the standards they set so efficiently.

Nigella Lawson became the first sex cook, and a jolly good fist she made of it too. Never in the history of the British Isles have so many men suddenly developed a healthy interest in cooking, and Nigella's cooking often had dirty old men drooling, despite the fact that they couldn't smell the food.

But success comes at a price, and Nigella had little choice other to embark on a lengthy sabbatical when her breasts became exhausted as a result of her hectic schedule. It must be said that Nigella suffering from breast exhaustion is up there in the 'disaster zone' because she has an awful lot of breast to get exhausted.

Millions of men fondly remember Nigella's breasts jiggling about with riotous abandon in a low cut top as she whipped up some cream. Friends say that Nigella will be back as soon as her breasts have recovered, but they anticipate a lengthy convalescence.

With a vacuum to fill in the sex cooking schedule, the BBC didn't hang about, and quickly recruited Sophie Dahl for the nation's menfolk to drool over. And many men do. The Delicious Miss Dahl may indeed be delicious, but many complain that her cooking isn't up to much.

One viewer complained to the BBC that he found it hard to convince his wife that he was fascinated by Sophie Dahl cooking fish fingers whilst concealing a throbbing erection, whereas he never had that problem when Nigella was on. Because her food was 'interesting' enough to detract from the erection issue.

Nigella's breasts are said to be making steady progress.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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