Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: peaches geldof

Saturday, 27 March 2010

image for Sweet Peaches Geldof Is Turning Sour!
Benito Misterioso, Peaches' friend shown with two of his many bitches. (Photo courtesy of Larry King).

LOS ANGELES - Peaches Geldof daughter of Live-Aid organizer and founder Bob Geldof has apparently gotten mixed up with the wrong crowd.

Word from a close friend is that 21-year-old Peaches has chosen to run with some mighty big dogs including an unidentified guido from New Jersey named Benito Misterioso [SEE PHOTO AT RIGHT], who lists his occupation as a tanning salon security guard.

Misterioso has been linked to the Genzano Pianissimo Family of Hackensack, New Jersey whose business card reads: G. Pianissimo, Inc. - Cement Raconteurs.

Bob Geldof, Peaches father has said that his daughter has had more ups and down the past year than a pair of Pamela Anderson bikini thong panties.

He noted that Peaches' pride and joy was her magazine Disappearing Cellulite Magazine. He confessed that it totally devastated her when it went bankrupt in January after having December sales of only 29 magazines worldwide.

The elder Geldof went on to point out that her latest business venture, Goldfish Through The Mail went belly up after only one week in operation.

It appears that Peaches had no idea that goldfish hate to travel in vehicles. UPS and FedEx truck drivers reported that every single goldfish that they were transporting held its breath and committed suicide.

Peaches has boasted that she recently acquired her 21st tattoo. It is a likeness of a space-out Lindsay Lohan with the caption bubble which reads: I still effen miss my Samantha "Lips of Love" Ronson.

Peaches has admitted that she is not gay but says that she thinks that Ellen DeGeneres has one of the prettiest wives that she has ever seen. She also thinks that Girls Aloud singer Nadine Coyle has the sexiest looking tonsils in the entire United Kingdom, including Wolverhampton.

The 21-year-old Peach Cobbler, as her ex-boyfriend Boo Boo Bickyshire, 33, would refer to her during sex, said that she is going to talk to her sisters Fifi Trixibelle and Pixie about writing a tell-all book which will reveal some very intimate and highly personal secrets about their godmother Camilla Parker Bowles.

In other news. France is reporting that due to the down spiraling national economy they are having to lay off half of their military troops. No word as yet on when exactly the 10 soldiers will be furloughed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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