Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 19 March 2010

image for Susan Boyle Turns Down Pussycat Dolls
A Cat? We Asked For A Pussycat Doll! Bloody Search Engine!

It's just been announced that Susan Boyle will definitely not be joining the Pussycat Dolls, and will continue her pursuit of a solo career as intended.

The Pussycat Dolls have been gradually falling apart at the seams for months but have been kept out of the news by far more interesting stories.

Insiders insist that the domineering nature of Lewis Hamilton's girl friend Nicole Sherzinger has been the driving force behind the Dolls disintegration, but Sherzinger herself has maintained that the split was brought on by artistic differences.

Whatever the truth, it seems that nobody wants to be a Pussycat Doll any more. And certainly not Susan Boyle.

One observer commented that seeing Susan Boyle all done up in erotic lingerie, brandishing a riding crop and singing 'Lick Every Inch Of My Hot Bod' would be stretching credibility to breaking point.

Indeed, it is hard to imagine how Susan Boyle would even begin to fit in as a Pussycat Doll, given that her image doesn't exactly gel with the sado-masochistic erotic overtones of the group.

"Ah well," Nicole Sherzinger sighed when we spoke to her. "I guess I dreamed a dream..."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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