Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 19 March 2010

image for Ke$ha Performs On American Idol And Leaves Glitter All Over The Damn Stage
An extreme closeup of Ke$ha's right eyelid. (Photo courtesy of "Dawg" Jackson).

HOLLYWOOD - Ke$ha Rose Petal Sebert, better known as the glitterized singer with the first name comprised of four letters and a dollar sign, performed on The American Idol stage.

The white singer from Tennessee with the sing-song, rappin' style sang her three hits, "Tic Tok," "Blah, Blah, Blah," and her latest song, "Rah, Rah, Rah, Sis, Boom, Bah."

And when the facial glitter-wearing Ke$ha was finished there was lots and lots of colored glitter all over the American Idol stage. Ryan "Sparky" Seacrest and Randy "The Dawg" Jackson were asked by the shows producers to get out on the stage and sweep all the glitter so that someone would not slip, hurt themselves, and sue the hell out of 19th Hole Productions, which is owned by Simon "The Duke of Disdain" Cowell.

Simon supervised the glitter sweeping, while Kara DioGuardi fiddled with his crotch region underneath the table. Ellen sat by herself asking one of the stage hands if he felt that maybe she had cut her hair just a little too short.

When the stage hand answered that yes he felt that it was cut a little too short Ellen shot him the finger and said, "Hey, what da hell do you know. You're just a freakin stage hand for goodness sakes. Hey Kara, come here, if you can let go of Simon's tallywhacker for a sec, I need to ask you a question."

Kara hollered back that she could not break away from smilin' Simon and said that she would get back with her later on tonight or maybe tomorrow morning.

Ellen called her a Big Apple Biach and called up her wife Portia. She told her that she was on her way home and that she would stop off at Tomasito's Taco Town and pick up four shrimp burritos, some refried beans, some reconstituted rice, and a bottle of Pancho Villa's Papaya Margarita Mix.

In a somewhat related story. Condoleezza Rice will be appearing on the Sean Hannity Show and explain just exactly where the false rumors about her being a lesbian came from.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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