Written by Proffitt
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Topics: Robbie Williams

Monday, 15 March 2010

image for Its official - Robbie Williams is rubbish
Robbie's new look based on Cheryl Cole

Robbie's shameless attempt to get back in the charts has ended in disaster with a number 50 entry! The ex-Take That star is desperate to emulate the success of his old band and will try anything to achieve it. His latest 'charity single' has barely been noticed and now he faces life as an ordinary person.

Once at the top of his game, Williams had pop stars queuing to sing with him but now even the Cheeky Girls don't want to know. Pete Waterman, agent to the malnourished duo told us "why would cheeky 1 and 2 bother with Williams, after all he's no longer in their league."

This leaves Robbie looking for other artists to work with and rumour has it he's found one. Reports say he's negotiating terms with Scooch, the UK's Eurovision flops from 2007. Band member Natalie said "Robbie is keen to do 'Flying the Flag' but with a drum n' base feel but we're not sure about it."

Robbie is due to appear on Sports Relief this week to perform his charity record but the Beeb are considering replacing him with Sam Fox but nobody can find her.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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