Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Gay, Will and Grace

Tuesday, 9 March 2010

image for The Biggest Non-Surprise Gay Announcement of The Decade: Sean Hayes of Will and Grace Admits He Is Gay
Sean Hayes show dancing at his 39th surprise birthday party at a house that once belonged to Rush Limbaugh.

SAN FRANCISCO - In what has got to surely be the biggest non-surprise gay announcement of the decade, actor Sean Hayes who starred in the sit-com Will and Grace has just announced to the entertainment media that he is gay.

On the hit comedy series, Hayes portrayed a character named Jack McFarland, who acted gayer than Elton John, Clay Aiken, Bruno Tonioli, and Nathan Lane all put together.

On the show Hayes wore eye-liner, eye-shadow, and was always shown eating 'eye candy.' His favorite color was pink and his favorite number was 9, as in, as he pointed out, the total number of letters in Elton John's name.

The sit-com ran from 1998 to 2006, and in all of those years Jack never uttered even one non-gay phrase. Everything that he said on the show was gay-oriented, even when he said that he had a pet canary that Grace, who was portrayed by actress Debra Messing, suggested that he return to the pet shop because it sang with a gay lisp.

In another episode Jack actually caught his pet chimp Mr. Twinkle Toes on the Internet looking at naked photos of King Kong.

Sean Hayes was asked why he just now decided to officially come out of the closet. He laughed and said "Because the golly gosh darn closet was, ah, you know, so golly gee-whiz darn crowded!"

He smiled and stated that the real reason is because he is in hopes that he gets some phone calls or emails from fellow gaysters such as Adam Lambert, Clay Aiken, Lance Bass, or any other rich gay celebrities.

In a related story. The African country of Dutch West Wakaboonka has banned gays from participating in any elections. The government issued an official statement which said that gays never vote the right way anyway.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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