Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 9 March 2010

image for Lily Allen Mooned In Front Of Her Manchester Hotel
A photo of Lily Allen wearing a red bar and covering up her two regular nipples and her extra one.

MANCHESTER - Lily Allen finished performing her concert at Manchester's Yoko Ono Arena and hurried out to her waiting car to take her back to her hotel The Maid Marian.

Allen had stated that she was feeling tired and that her thighs were hurting along with her third nipple.

And speaking of Lily's third nipple, back in January Allen and Cheryl Cole got into quite a feud when Lily made fun of Cheryl by writing an unflattering song about her and calling it "Cheryl Tweedy," which is Cheryl's maiden name.

In the song Allen says that Cheryl at 5'3" is so short that she could crawl underneath a snakes belly without ducking. She also said that Cole cannot ride any theme park rides because she is not "This" tall as the signs imply.

Cheryl responded by saying that Lily was just mad because she had started her period and because she has a third nipple which is quite embarrassing.

Lily pointed out that it was funny that American country music singer Carrie Underwood also possesses a third nipple and you never hear anyone say anything about that.

Allen was quick to add that even that mean American horse-face looking bitch Ann Coulter or that spoiled black bro microphone stealing mofo Kanye Pest (West) did not say a word.

Meanwhile the man who mooned Lily Allen was identified as Hawthorne Outwait, a 29-year-old unemployed dentist from East Ham. Outwait is presently incarcerated in London's Petula Clark Prison For Blokes in Boy George's old cell.

Outwait, as it turns out is wanted on other various charges including selling counterfeit crumpets to tourists from Bosnia, trying to sell a fake Ashley Cole bubble gum football trading card to Prince Charles, and spray painting the words "Huh, it ain't so big on the Tower Big Ben.

To read more about Lily Allen's most interesting third nipple simply log on to www.lilyallenandherthirdnipple.tit

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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