Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 6 March 2010

image for Cheryl Cole Gets Last Minute Oscar Nomination
Left Click On Image To Hear What Cheryl Is Really Singing When She 'Performs' Live On TV

Breaking news from Hollywood, the land of the mountain bike, is suggesting that Girls Aloud chanteuse, text victim, X-Factor judge and 5'3" pocket dynamo, our very own Cheryl Cole has been nominated at the eleventh hour for a special category Oscar.

A source told us that the new 'People's Princess' had been squeezed into the roll of honour for a wide variety of different reasons in order for her achievements to be recognized and rewarded by The Academy.

It is thought that the special category statuette will be presented in recognition of Cole's invaluable contribution to the oft neglected art of lip synching, her portrayal of the woman scorned - as exhibited in her much publicised separation from text cheat hubby Ashley, and her portrayal of feminine vulnerability as she arrived back at Heathrow after her latest LA jaunt.

Also singled out for special attention by The Academy was Mrs Cole's flawless performance promoting L'Oreal hair products with a straight face when she was knowingly wearing hair extensions all along.

At this point it remains uncertain whether Mrs Cole will be present at the Academy Awards ceremony as she has been extremely busy thrashing out visitation rights to the Cole family dogs with estranged husband Ashley, which she has found to be extremely traumatic.

Plans to present Mrs Cole with a further award for services to humanity for her gushing and frequently tearful attempts to console rejected X-Factor hopefuls are said to be at an advanced stage.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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