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Friday, 26 February 2010

image for Ian McShane To Play Blackbeard In Pirates Of The Caribbean : On Stranger Tides

Word has reached our Hollywood office that Ian McShane, son of a Manchester United footballer and best known in his UK homeland as Lovejoy, the antiques bloke, has all but put pen to paper to play Blackbeard in Pirates of the Caribbean 4.

McShane, perhaps best known in the States for his role as Sheriff Al Swearingen in Deadwood is viewed by the movie's producers as the logical choice to play Blackbeard.

One insider expressed doubts over the casting and confided that POC4 execs were a little concerned that McShane would swear and curse too often and too graphically for a family audience, because he swore an awful lot in Deadwood.

Having seen Deadwood on Sky in the UK, we were inclined to agree. As Al Swearingen, Ian McShane lived up to the name, effing and blinding his way through every episode like a mother-effer.

McShane probably reached a peak of swearingness in the episode where a woman was trying to squeeze a kidney stone out of his penis. The air was blue in our house when that episode aired. Even the cat covered its ears with its paws because it was obviously embarrassed.

However, we're pretty sure that Mr Johnny Depp, alias that scoundrel Jack Sparrow will alert Mr McShane to any unnecessary swearing and that the finished product will be suitable for unsullied ears.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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