Written by Skoob1999
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Tuesday, 23 February 2010

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Two leading UK cinema chains have elected to boycott screening Disney's 3D blockbuster 'Alice In Wonderland' in a dispute over DVD release dates.

Disney want to release the film on DVD after 12 weeks as opposed to the regular 17 weeks - which in the eyes of the cinema operators reduces the necessary box office earnings potential necessary to offset investment in 3D projection equipment.

Disney were said to be infuriated by the boycott and have dispatched heavyweight executives to London in a bid to coax the cinema operators into toeing the Disney line.

Cruella DeVille, looking appropriately focused as she boarded a Heathrow-bound flight at LAX remained typically tight lipped as she sucked on a nicotine cartridge theough a specially adapted cigarette holder.

Captain Hook was a little more approachable, telling us that he and Smee would add their full weight to the Disney argument. However, he quickly scurried off upon hearing a ticking sound.

Flying in the cargo hold, Shere Khan the tiger would only growl at our reporter.

But the Disney organization are not only relying on bullying tactics. As part of a charm offensive, they have also sent Snow White, Happy out of the Seven Dwarfs, Sleeping Beauty, Balou the Bear, and for the "Aaaahh!" factor, The Lady And The Tramp.

And a bowl of spaghetti.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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