Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: American Idol

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

image for American Idol's "Bikini Boy" Arrested By Denver Police
A photo of what "Bikini Boy" looks like when he isn't wearing a girls two-piece bikini swimsuit.

DENVER - One of the strangest American Idol wannabee contestants to ever audition on the reality singing show was the last 'singer' to appear on the AI audition show from Denver.

Ty Hemmerling walked into the judge's audition room wearing a two piece purple, orange, and pink bikini swimsuit that appeared to be two sizes too small.

Hemmerling, dubbed "Bikini Boy" by Randy Jackson told the judges that he was going to sing the 90s tune by Billy Ray Cyrus "Achey Breaky Heart."

"Bikini Boy" managed to sing 11 notes before the four American Idol judges stood up, gathered up their paperwork, and walked out.

The judges exited the audition room and left Hemmerling standing there wearing not only an extremely embarrassed look on his face, but also what has got to be the ugliest two-piece bikini bathing suit ever manufactured.

As the judges were leaving Kara DioGuardi told him that he looked like Amy Winehouse, except without the 17 tattoos, 3 piercings, and Double D tits.

Randy Jackson asked him if he needed a ride to the nearest gay bar. "Bikini Boy" informed Randy that he was not gay.

"Of course you're not." Randy fired back.

Guest judge Mrs. David Beckham, Victoria Beckman laughed and told him that she really and truly believes that Lady Gaga, Madonna, and Gretchen Wilson all probably have more in their crotch regions than he does.

"Bikini Boy" hollered out that not when he gets an erecti*n they don't.

Simon Cowell, Mr. Personality in a black T-shirt pointed out that he called the DPD about having "Bikini Boy" arrested for his own good.

Cowell said that he overheard two big redneck cowboy individuals saying that they are going to show "BB" that they do not appreciate him making their hometown look like it coddles to the sidesaddle-riding fairy element.

Hemmerling was asked what he does for a living. He replied that he is a receptionist at Denver's KOCK Country Rock radio station.

A Denver police officer informed the producers of American Idol that he would take Miss Hemmerling downtown and finger print him, photograph him, and give him some clothes that fit his gender a little bit closer than that 14-year-old girl's bikini swimsuit does.

In a related story. Adam Lambert has reportedly called up "Bikini Boy" and asked him that he wants for him to join his upcoming concert tour and become one of his groupies.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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