Written by P.M. Wortham
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Friday, 29 January 2010

image for Mel Gibson to Host Racial Tolerance Classes
The famous "Up Yours" Status of Equality at SMU

Following a carefully orchestrated return to the spotlight, Mel Gibson will follow up the release of his latest movie, "Edge of Darkness", with a mea-culpa series of racial tolerance lectures at local universities.

Not connected to any legal settlement or community service program following his highly publicized brush with police officers of Jewish decent, some guy told me: "Mel just wants to admit his mistake and give something constructive back to the community. These lectures are totally at Mel's own expense, but be sure to go see Edge of Darkness."

Critics say the lecture series press release was just another ploy to generate publicity for Gibson's film. "Clearly based on early reviews and box office receipts, the film needs a PR boost", says movie industry analyst Hyrum Fokelore. "What better way to get your name in the papers when your movie is bombing, than to announce some philanthropic effort."

At another interview, Bloomy was heard talking up both Gibson's commitment to racial tolerance as well as his recent donation to the victims of Haiti. "Mel will be donating 10% of his Key Grip's earnings from Edge of Darkness to the victims of Haiti, so go and support this great film and the victims of Haiti too".

Gibson's lecture series is slated to begin during the Spring semester at three universities and will include four sessions:

1. How much can you drink before spouting off racial slurs
2. Acceptable terms for classifying people of African, Jewish, Asian, or Hispanic origin
3. How to keep your mouth shut once placed in handcuffs
4. If I was Spielberg, none of this would have happened

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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