Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 15 January 2010

image for Taylor Swift To Record The General Platt Song "Pants On The Ground"
Taylor Swift has gotten so popular that even the African country of Botswana named her its #1 recording artist of 2009.

SHEBOYGAN, Wisconsin - Taylor Swift performed before a sell-out crowd in Sheboygan's brand new MozzarellaDome.

The young country music star was amazed at the state-of-the-art facility with its 80,000 seating capacity.

She noted that the MozzarellaDome has an imported Italian marble floor revolving stage, 102 restrooms, and a lighting system that equals the total lighting capability of the combined countries of Portugal, Peru, Poland, and the Palmyra Atoll.

Taylor remarked that she was thrilled to use Sheboygan to kick off her brand new month long Taylor Swift Says Cheese Concert Tour of Wisconsin, which will have her performing to sell out crowds in 27 Wisconsin cities.

The Pennsylvania native was asked about her upcoming CD entitled Swift Movin' Taylor. She said that she is very excited about it because she is including several songs that were written by other well known recording artists.

One of the songs that will appear on her CD is Reba McEntire's "I Made Him Breakfast And He Buttered My Biscuit." Another one is Miranda Lambert's "My Ex-Boyfriend Said I Was Trash, But At Least I Ain't Garbage."

And a song that was written especially for her by the one and only Dolly Parton, "If Kanye Touches My Microphone One More Time He'll Find Himself Having To Sit To Pee."

Taylor said that she actually got to meet Dolly last year at The Annual Now Ain't That A Peach of A Peach Jelly and Jam Jamboree in Valdosta, Georgia.

She said that she had to ask her if her puppies were really real. Dolly laughed and said that her puppies are really real but that nowadays they don't do as much squirrel-treeing as they used to cause they spend a whole lot of time just a-porch-sittin'.

Taylor was excited to say that her new CD will also include a song written by a little know 62-year-old songwriter from Atlanta. His name is General Larry Platt and his song is called, "The Pants On The Ground."

SIDENOTE: Taylor pointed out that she is scheduled to perform in Atlanta's Damn That Yankee Sherman Convention Center in April and she hopes to convince General Platt & The Pitter Platter Privates to be her opening act.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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