Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: American Idol

Friday, 15 January 2010

image for American Idol: 62-Year-Old General Larry Platt Performs "Pants On The Ground"
Larry Platt shown on the far right with his band, General Platt & The Pitter Platter Privates.

ATLANTA - General Larry Platt, at 62, is a little over the 28-year-old age limit, but he certainly brought the American Idol auditioning house down with his original song ditty.

The Platter, as his 103-year-old grandmother Hattie Henrietta Platt calls him, thoroughly impressed the judges with his ever so catchy tune.

The General said that he wrote the song to show the young school kids who wear their pants down around their plumber's crack that they look like absolute fools.

He also takes a jab at the gold in their mouth and the fad of wearing their cap to the side.

When Platt was asked if the same went for the young females he thought about it for a while and replied that yes it did.

He then realized what he had said and wanted it made clear that he ain't one of them gay guys, but that he just thinks that the young gals should not show off their imitation (intimate) body parts until their wedding night.

He pointed out that when he married his wife Vonzell LaQuisha she was 37, and was still a virgin. He said that he knows that to be a fact for two good reasons. One, she told him and two, she tried to the 'wild thang' with her underwear on.

Platt grinned and said that he and his wife and their grandkids still laugh about it all these many years later.

SIDENOTE: When General Platt was asked if he felt that he could become the next William Hung, he kind of got a puzzled look on his face and then asked, "Now I wants ju ta tell me, exactly what do da size of my peckerino gots ta do wiff anythang?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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