LOS ANGELES - Charlie Sheen and his wife Brooke Mueller have just been named "America's Most Fickle Couple of 2009" by the marriage publication Do You.
Charlie, who spent Christmas in the Pitkin County Jail in Aspen, Colorado, appears to be having one hell of a time trying to figure out what's up and what's down lately.
The actor of television's number one situation comedy Two And A Half Men said that he thinks all of this mess that he has been in lately is due to the smoke from the big illegal Cuban cigars that he has been smoking at the rate of six per day.
Sheen did not have a very good Christmas as instead of spending it with his sexy ass wife and two kids, he instead shared a cold, damp cell with Dontell Washington and Rafer Washington (who are not related).
The Pitkin County cell that he was in only had two beds. Dontell slept in one and Rafer slept in the other. Charlie was asked where he slept and he replied that he slept in the sink.
Sheen's wife Brooke initially told the Aspen authorities that she was going to be filing for divorce. The next day she said that she was going to work on putting their marriage back together.
When Charlie got out on $8,500 bail, plus ten autographed 8 by 10 glossies, Brooke told him that she wanted a divorce after all. Charlie told her that he would write her a check for $1 million if she would change her mind.
Brooke said that she would stay married. Charlie was so thrilled that he jumped up in the air and high-fived her. His hand cramped up from having to sleep in the jail cell sink and his hand slipped hitting Brooke on her left ear unintentionally.
She started crying and called 911 and told them to send over the police. Charlie took off running into the snow covered forest.
The police arrived and simply followed his footprints in the snow and the awful cigar smell trail.
And so the Charlie and Brooke Sheen divorce saga continues. Mr. and Mrs. Sheen will stay married, yes, no, yes, no, may be so, who the heck knows.
in the mean time Charlie has already upped the ante to Brooke to $3 million, a 2010 Lamborghini Murcielago, a $100,000 pinkie ring, and a trip to Paris.
In other news. Tina Fey has made it abundantly clear that she does not want to do Sarah Palin anymore. Sarah Palin replied that she does not want Tina doing her anymore either and that the only one that she wants doing her is her husband Todd.