Prince Phil the Greek, aka The Duke Of Edinburgh, hubby of the reigning monarch, today refused to get drawn into saying anything even remotely controversial. Even though he has previously referred to people from the far east as having 'slitty eyes.'
And his Mrs saying that Manchester is not a very nice place.
We begged HRH to say something controversial but he was having none of it.
"What about Rafa Benitez at Liverpool?" we asked him.
"Don't even go there," he said.
"What about the Silvio Berlusconi situation?" we probed in the interests of journalistic integrity.
"The Italian chappie?"
"That's him!" we enthused as we prepared to pounce.
"Nice chap," HRH said. "Didn't deserve having that Milan Cathedral souvenir bashed into his boat race like that. Bit naughty really."
"And the attack on the Pope?" we probed.
"World's full of nutters," HRH said.
"Are you going to say anything controversial this Christmas?" we begged.
"No," he told us emphatically.
"Bollocks to you then," our reporter muttered.
"And your mother takes it up the shitter," we thought we heard him say. But we can't be definitive on that.
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