Written by Skoob1999
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Tuesday, 15 December 2009

image for Robert Pattinson And Miley Cyrus Guest At Bonkettes Hollywood Bowl Gig
Baby Don't Change Your Socks

It was the hottest ticket in tinseltown, the legendary girl band the Bonkettes live at the Hollywood Bowl.

It was chaos from the start as the girls took the stage, only to be bombarded by a blizzard of soiled underwear by their adoring legions of adolescent male fans.

Then it all got even more crazy.

In a departure from their usual routine, the Bonkettes performed a barnstorming version of the Gladys Knight classic 'Baby Don't Change Your Socks'

Then Twilight star Robert Pattinson, accompanied by Hannah Montana herself took to the stage to perform guest vocals on yet another Gladys Knight classic, 'Help Me Make It Through Your Tights'

As the stars, including state Governor, Big Austrian Arnie rocked in the aisles, the Bonkettes showed why they're the world's numero uno girl band.

Remaining in a soulful kind of Detroit mood, the girls went on to sing 'Reach Out Or You Might Miss Me' the old Four Tops classic, followed by the Marvin Gaye track 'What The Fuck Is Goin' On - My Dad Just Shot Me'

In an amazing about face, the girls then sang Thin Lizzy's 'The Girls Are Back In Town'

And then some other songs which we can't be arsed to mention.

They wrapped up the evening with a rousing rendition of 'Fairy Tale Of New York' by that drunk bloke out of the Pogues.

As she came offstage, lead singer, BJ Swallow told us:

"That one was for the fans. And the nutjobs who cover our exploits on the internet. They're all fucking mental innit? Anyway, we love you all. Happy Christmas and have a great New Year, even though it'll probably be as shitty as the last one. I'm off now to drink a pint or two of liquid nitrogen. Through a straw. I'll try to be sensual about it but I can't promise anything."

Well, that's 1,000 up.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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