Tom Cruise, the man who believes that everything he touches turns to gold, will star in a remake of the 80's bomb Ishtar. The film is generall considered one of the worst ever made and starred generally bankable Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty.
Cruise will team up with friend Richard Gere for the remake. Tom will play the Hoffman part while the Beatty role will be played by Gere. Said one spokesman, "Richard didn't want to do this movie unless we brought in the gerbils and guinea pigs from G-Force for cameo roles, so they will appear in a few of the desert scenes."
Instead of being singers, the two stars will be Scientology Missionaries who are trying to "preach the word" in the Middle East.
No date for the film's release has been set, but the seven largest theatre chains in the nation have announced that they lost enough money on the original and will not show this one.