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Topics: Adam Lambert

Monday, 30 November 2009

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Adam Lambert had quite a week last week according to his friend, Jon Lassiter.

Only as a joke, Adam Lambert -while sitting by his friend, Jon, at a New York City out of the way restaurant -made a funny crack at the two smashed guys near them and has wound up with a cut lip, a chipped tooth and a blue-black eye.

Apparently, the two were having some drinks together and talking about all the good and bad things that had happened to Lambert last week, when one of two drunks at the next table pulled out a pack of cigarettes which wasn't a problem, since you could smoke here, though "Do Not Smoke" signs were displayed at two locations. Everyone knew that you could smoke. In fact, that's why the place has became so popular.

Lambert told Jon that he knew that there were actually GAY PEOPLE in the bar. "Of course, I imagine most if not all of us there were gay, but Adam was just yanking these guys chains.

"You know how those guys look. You can tell and smell them from a distance!"

Jon stated that Adam was laughing all the time and that the two of them had had a few drinks themselves while talking.

"You know, just enough that things get funny. A lot of the guys do that in there. We're only spoofing around. After all, we are spoofters. I may have said something like that too."

"That was when one of the guys opened the pack of cigarettes and looked closely at it and read, "Open Here!"..as if that were a great statement. He was pretty smashed."

"So Adam says, 'Yeah, you don't have to take them to Chicago or Atlantic City, you can actually open them right here. That's why they put that on the package."

That was when the two got pissed and all the trouble started. Jon said the guy thought Adam was calling him stupid or something, and added, "which he was!"

So fists flew and a few happened by chance to land and Adam Lambert let Jon take him to the hospital to be patched up.

"This has been quite a week for me, Jon", Adam told him Sunday. "First a great AMA performance, get kicked off my promised spot on 'Good Morning America' and now I can't sing till I get my chipped tooth fixed. But weren't those two the prize winning idiots of all time?"

"This will be even funnier later. Maybe even funnier than when we were at that party and everyone talking loud over the loud music and the music stops because of a fuse or something and Morrie Simpson's voice comes through loud and clear, "JERRY, I"M GOING TO HAVE MY PENIS PIERCED!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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