Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 25 November 2009

image for Dancing With The Stars Signs Ozzy Osbourne For It's 2010 Season
Little Dicky Cheney, one of Ozzy Osbourne's six pet bats.

HOLLYWOOD - The producers of Dancing With The Stars have just announced that they have signed Kelly Osbourne's father, Ozzy Osbourne to be one of the 16 contestants on next year's edition of Dancing With The Stars.

DWTS Producer Bernadette Penderlicki told the entertainment media that because of the tremendous popularity of Kelly Osbourne they decided to invite her father, the 60-year-old 'Godfather of Heavy Metal" to participate in the dance competition.

Ozzy's wife, Sharon, who works part-time as a judge on America's Got Talent, remarked that she was shocked that her husband has been asked to be one of the celebrity dancers.

Sharon said that Ozzy has two left feet literally. She then stated that she was not kidding and added that Ozzy also has two left hands, two left tonsils, and two left (blanks).

The former lead singer of the heavy metal band Black Sabbath was asked how he felt about being asked to be one of the dancers on next years show.

The "Prince of Darkness" smiled, took his chewing gum out of his mouth and said, "I ahhh feeeel daaaat I caaaannnn daaannnccceee as gooood aaasss daaaat bbbiiiiggg blllllaaaack giiiirlll Maaaacy Graaaaay."

The director of DWTS Mason Kippflavor was asked if he thought that Ozzy would do okay. Kippflavor smiled, put down his bottle of Lowenbrau and said that everything would be fine as they have decided to hire an ex-United Nation's interpreter to help with Ozzy's language situation.

In a related story. Sharon Osbourne said that she had lunch with Susan Boyle at Bubba's Burrito Box Restaurant in Marina Del Rey. Osbourne said that she apologized to Ms. Boyle for making that 'slapped ass' remark, and Ms. Boyle graciously accepted her apology along with her gesture of good will check for $6,000.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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