Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 23 November 2009

image for Jennifer Lopez Falls During Her Music Awards Performance And Breaks The Stage Floor
Jennifer Lopez' favorite food, cupcakes which she says seem to just go directly to her ass (NOTE: Duh!).

HOLLYWOOD - Jennifer Lopez, aka J-Lo showed her age (and weight) at The Music Awards show as she jumped off of one of her dancers, hitting the stage floor, and landing on her rather ample ass.

The stunned performer quickly stood up hoping that no one saw her fall (wrong Miss Buns of Salami). The cameraman was kind enough to suddenly pan away from the fallen singer to the audience which was sitting there in complete darkness.

Afterwards J-Lo, whose name will probably now be changed to J-Flo as in 'Damn girlfriend, this flo sure be slippery huh' was backstage trying to blame her fall on the dancer who she jumped off from.

"The vato (guy) whose name I think is Pablo or Polo or something with a P, must have sneezed, coughed, or burped or did something that naturally threw me off because I practiced that move at least twice before the live performance and it went excellent as do all of the things that I do on stage."

Miss Lopez was asked if she had hurt herself. She smiled and reminded the questioner that she did land on her butt which is equal to the butts of two and maybe even three normally butt-sized women.

One of the stage hands Javier Chimenea said that he did not want his named used but that he inspected the stage floor where J-Lo landed and it has three visible cracks that were not there before.

Chimenea stated that he told the Nokia Theater manager Paul Slipcover about the damage that Ms. Lopez had done to the floor with her industrial-sized nalgas (buns).

Slipcover said that he will be getting together with Ms. Lopez's people about having them pay for the damages to the floor, which will probably run around $2,000.

SIDENOTE: The producers of Dancing With The Stars were planning on having Jennifer Lopez appear on their show next season as one of the dancing contestants.

But after seeing J-Lo fall on her ass and make an ass of herself Executive Producer Bernadette Penderlicki has reportedly called Jennifer's manager, Jose Pasaporte and told him, "No way Jose."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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