Written by Thibarine
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Monday, 16 November 2009

image for Angelina Jolie and Octomom spark Mid East security alert
A local magistrate orders the child-crazed celebs to be deported.

Hollywood superstar Angelina Jolie and Nadya Suleman sparked a massive security alert when they got involved in an altercation at Damascus Airport. Nadya, known as "Octomom" because she has fourteen children, became furious when she discovered she and Angelina had both flown in to bid for the same orphan, a cute little Syrian girl.

"At first it was just harmless fun, like the Haye-Valuev title bout" claimed Brad Pitt, who heads up Angelina's team of nannies. Her multicultural family is known as The Rainbow because you can never get to the end of it. "There was a bit of shuffling around giving each other evils, followed by a combination of pat-a-cake and Morris dancing. Then Angie managed to land an uppercut and it all kicked off."

Riot police with tear gas canisters had to hold back horrified onlookers as the two women brawled on the ground, ripping at each other's hair and clothing. In an attempt to diffuse the situation one resourceful officer poured an entire bottle of baby oil over the writhing, heaving bodies as the crowd swelled. Finally the women were pulled apart, relatively uninjured. "Their mouths might be a bit swollen up but it's hard to tell" admitted Brad. Both women were later deported.

Angelina issued a warning via her publicist: "Octobeast may have stolen my features but she'll never take my allocated children."

There is growing concern among orphan experts that celebrity trendsetters like Madonna and Angelina are causing a shortage of photogenic tots, particularly in Africa and Asia.

"They're going out as fast as they come in" a specialist confirmed. He added: "ugly white kids need love, too."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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