Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 14 November 2009

image for Rob Pattinson And Kristen Stewart's 'Twilight' Premier On Sky TV Causes Havoc In UK Household.
Whoops. We Lost Again. What's On The Telly?

The television premiere of cult vampire movie, Twilight, on Sky Movies Premier this evening caused chaos in one UK household.

Spoof correspondent Skoob1999 wanted to watch the movie so that he could gain a further degree of understanding of the Robert Pattinson / Kristen Stewart phenomena.

Whereas Mrs Skoob wanted to watch Jedward on the X-Factor.

Mrs Skoob was upset because England had earlier lost to Brazil in a friendly football international played in Qatar.

Which sounds vaguely like 'guitar' or 'catarrh' the latter of which is another word for phlegm.

None of which really bothered Skoob because he's half Irish anyway, and he regards Manchester United as being infinitely more significant than the England football team.

Even with Wayne (the boxer) Rooney as England captain for the day.

Having done the shopping, Mrs Skoob insisted that she had the right to watch the X-Factor, because she'd been out in the wind and the rain shopping while Skoob sat on his lazy arse typing out Spoof.com stories on the family PC.

Mrs Skoob argued that the X-Factor was much more relevant to life in general than any silly vampire movie.

Skoob protested that he'd just completed the 20th, and concluding episode of a Spoof serial, only to lose it when he came to add the picture caption, and a glitch in the electricity supply wiped the whole thing out.

After 1,350 words.

"Okay," Mrs Skoob announced. "You rewrite the story you've just wasted three hours on, and lost, while it's still fresh in your stupid head, and I'll watch the X-Factor. I can't stand that vampire crap."

"Now you just wait a second," Skoob snarled.

"No dear," Mrs Skoob snarled back. "I'm watching the X-Factor. And that's that. Game over."

"Yeah but..." Skoob protested...

"Yeah but my arse," Mrs Skoob said. "I take it you don't want steak and chips for your tea..."

"Hang on, I never said that..."

"No you didn't. Anything to add to this conversation?"

"Erm, yeah," Skoob splutters. "What time does the X-Factor start? I really can't wait...."

More domestic discumbobulation as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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