Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 9 November 2009

image for Cheryl - Ash, I'll Put My Wedding Ring Back On When You Admit You Dived
Not Cheryl. Bjork. From Iceland. Executing A Sliding Tackle From The Mince Freezer.

The wife of a famously belligerent celebrity footballer, who also happens to be a talent show judge (height 5'3" hair extensions and talented mime artiste) has informed her bone-headed hubby that she won't put her wedding ring back on until hubby admits he dived to gain a free kick in Sunday's big game.

Unfortunately, due to reporting restrictions I can't name the couple involved.

Tension between the couple has been universally acknowledged since the husband, whom shall be called Ashley for journalistic purposes, became insanely jealous of his wife's popularity.

The woman involved, who I shall call Cheryl Old King told me:

"He's an egotistical pain in the arse. And there's no way on wor God's earth tharrum purrin that wedding ring back on me fingah till he admits to us tharee dived when Darren Fletcher beat him fair and square in that tackle. Burree wivvent. Loser."

The person named as Ashley for the purposes of journalistic license told me:

"I nevvah suspected she wuz Man U. Dis is worse van reds under da bed. Dis is reds inna bed innit. I ain't avin it. Her taking da piss."

Well.

It's disgraceful when you think about it.

GO CHERYL!!!

More impartial 'news' as I get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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