Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 2 November 2009

image for Elton John's Doctor Says The Old Crooner Has The Crocodile Rock Flu
A solid gold gramophone which Elton John received from Davey Furniture on his last birthday.

LONDON - Elton John's physician, Dr. Reginald Ainsworth has just confirmed rumors that had been circulating around the United Kingdom since last week.

Elton John, the 62-year-old glam rock singer who has sold over 200 million records has been afflicted with the dreaded Crocodile Rock Flu.

Dr. Ainsworth, who surprisingly has the same first name as the elderly rock and roller, said that at first he thought that Mr. John may just have had a severe case of pitifitalicatus, which is an infection of either one or both underarms.

The doctor said that he ruled out piti, as it is called for short, when the underarm x-rays came back normal.

Elton was scheduled to embark upon a tour of Ireland with Lady GaGa, Ladybug, Lady Kim, and Lady Fuzz. The tour was being hailed by dozens of world-wide music critics as "The Five Ladies Tour."

When Dr. Ainsworth was asked how long Mr. John would be in the hospital. He looked at John''s chart and said that Mr. John would have to remain in the hospital for at least three weeks.

The doctor added that right now the Crocodile Rock Flu is confined to just below his breasts. He took a sip of his tea and said that his main concern was that the CRF not spread to Elton John's belly button where it could affect his singing voice.

Elton's partner, Davey Furniture, said that fans and friends of Elton John can send him cards, balloons, gifts, and money to: The BBC in care of Davey Furniture.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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