Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 29 October 2009

image for Miley Cyrus Criticized For Her Crotch-Grabbing Performance
Miley Cyrus standing at the edge of the Pacific Ocean watching two hump back whales hump.

POCATELLO, Idaho - Miley Cyrus was on stage performing at Pocatello's Mr. Potato Head Arena, when all of a sudden in the middle of her song "Ooh La La, I'm In La La Land" she reached down and grabbed her crotch.

Stunned audience members and even two security guards turned their heads in shock. And after hearing the audience utter a collective ouuuuuuey, little Miley grabbed herself again.

One of the cameraman filming the concert, Bernie Mambalini, said that at first he just thought that he was seeing things, but after Miley repeated the same exact gesture the seventh time, he realized that she was doing a Michael Jackson 'groin-grabbing' move.

Afterwards, when one of Miley's assistants, Daisy Baumowitz was asked what was up with Miley's "g-g" she replied that she had no idea what "g-g" meant.

When informed that it meant "groin-grabbing" Baumowitz remarked that she did not see Miley grab her groin or anything else other than the microphone of course.

When she was shown a video which clearly showed Miley touching her (blank), Ms. Baumowitz simply stated that the video had been doctored.

Miley was asked by a reporter for the young impressionable teenage girl magazine, The Young Impressionable Teenage Girl Magazine why she felt that she had to grab her crotch, like Michael Jackson does. Miley look puzzled and she replied, "Michael Jackson grabs his crotch...ouuuuu yucky."

A parent of one of the young pre-teen girls who had taken her daughter and five nieces to the concert said that when she saw Miley do what the did, she immediately stood up, gathered up the six girls, and went to the ticket booth and asked for a refund.

She was told to read the fine print on the back of her ticket which reads that there would be absolutely no refunds whatsoever unless something of a natural occurrence occurs like a tornado, a hurricane, a tsunami, or a volcanic eruption.

The next day, Miley was asked about her 'groin-grabbing' incident. She rolled her eyes and said that she did not grab her groin because she does not even have a groin and furthermore that every one knows that only boys have groins.

Miley revealed to Larry King on Larry King Live that Grandma Lee has been signed to appear on her show and will portray her great, great, grandmother Noodles Montana.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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