Written by nigmuncher
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Topics: Pantomime

Thursday, 15 October 2009

image for Panto Season almost upon us. Oh no it isn't!
A packed house wait for 'Bigguns'

As the panto season approaches, so the number of 'D' list celebrities vying for a place amongst the spotlights and balsa-wood stage sets grows.

Christy Bigguns, the fulsome, yet questionable actor of yesteryear, is assured of a place within both the nation's hearts, and the pancake and greasepaint.

"His 'Twankey' is a joy to behold." Gushed a hovering sychophant. "And I would die for a piece of his 'Dick'." (Whittington)

"When he climbed that beanstalk," said another starstruck admirer, "it was poetry in motion. I nearly cried."

Fragrant 'I can't believe it's not Butterfies' actress, Wednesday Craigavon, is also assured of a major part this Christmas.

"I have never got my kit off in public," she confessed, "and I want this panto season to be a first for me. I want to really express myself, and full sex on stage is not out of the question."

It's 'Aladdin' for God's sake, Wednesday, not bloody 'Hair'!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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