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Topics: Jessica Simpson

Thursday, 27 August 2009

image for Jessica Simpson's Sick

Having gained nearly thirty pounds since her breakup with Dallas Cowboy Quarterback, Tony Romo, Jessica Simpson is unwell, suffering, as she has, with stomach problems for two weeks.

Doctors have traced the source of her condition back to her having a curry meal at an Indian Restaurant in Los Angeles two weeks ago.

"She is certainly a very sick lady", stated Doctor Lance Hampton, a gastrointestinal specialist. "We can't be sure at this late stage but we're 90% sure in our minds that Jessica is suffering from food poisoning."

Simpson, who had gotten back to performing had looked like a different person according to some of her fans.

"It was the weight gain", stated Sheila Cannes from Indiana. "She looked so different plus you could tell she wasn't the same perky Jessica we saw year before last. I guess that breakup with Romo was pretty hard on her."

"Yeah", stated her friend. "I know what it's like to eat out of frustration. You put on the pounds pretty fast."

So when I interviewed Simpson, I expected the worse. However, the perky Jessica seemed to have returned.

"I feel great!" stated the singer. "That stupid curry almost killed me but I lost 25 pounds and I'm getting rid of ten more while I'm here. This whole thing has been a blessing in disguise. Just look at these pics my manager collected of me on stage. What a fatty!"

Jessica said she is not suing the restaurant but a health agency has been notified and it has been closed down, at least temporarily.

"Who knows how fat I would have gotten if this hadn't happened. I hope Tony eats there the next time he's in the area!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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