Written by BLAINE
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Wednesday, 20 March 2002

image for All cartoon characters are real
Zippy the racist and "some pink bastard"

There is a point every person's life where they find out that cartoons are not real. This happens at the tender age of 5 in the summer as the parents want them out of the house. The sucide rate at this time is phenomenal. However, cartoon chartacters do exist! They have been imprisoned by Little and Large in Hull.

As they were being escorted away we grabbed these final words. 'We had to do it' starts Syd, the tall, lanky, unfunny one ' our careers were dying. We needed to get people to stop watching cartoons and come to our shows'. Eddie the fat unfunny one at this point is trying to be funny by arsing about.

However, flying from the warehouse where all the cartoon stars were kept out flys George, the gay pink thing from Rainbow and a small scuffle breaks out. George shouts 'You abused me. I enjoyed it but you wanted gadget boy. Aren't I good enough for you. You should be drowned with Johnathon King'.

Syd continues where he left off 'Well I had a good time and thats all that matters. Eddie was the ringleader but I followed. He taught those Transformers a lesson. Now they are all rusty. It's like syphillis for cars.'

These are the last words of Syd Little a free man. He now faces a life behind bars being abused by Eddie and being other peoples 'bitch'. The cartoon characters are forming a support group, led by Willy Fogg. 'We are all pleased that we can leave Hull. The Transformers are in the worse state and are going to be resprayed. Me and Rommy are going away to Scarborough for a nice break'.

Life as we knew it has ended. Our world will be much safer with Superted and Bananaman roaming the streets. France will have Albert the fifth musketeer back along with Dogtanion. When the transformers are ready they will go and try to stop the war in the middle east and danger mouse will search out Bin Laden. If you see a cartoon character in your area don't look down on him or mock him, give him a hand, except Mumra who is better locked up.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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